J had messaged me, asking to see Tempest, purportedly to give me a little break of about an hour. He probably wanted just to spend time with her, as he often did not, so I told him he could, but he decided to simply stay just outside of the house with her. He hugged her when he arrived, and told me to go inside and rest.
When I awoke, he was washing a dish in the sink, and smiled awkwardly at me.
"She's gone to bed. We watched TV for a bit, and then she was tired out, so I read her a bedtime story. Something about bunnies and dragons."
He came to sit next to me on the bed. "So...I talked with Dina, recently."
I stiffened, waiting for him to say I'd been imagining it again, to tell me there was nothing going on.
"She made a move. Told me she knew about my past attachments. Said that I didn't need to worry about them, with her, that I could forget all about them with her."
I felt cold, before he shook his head.
"I told her she was barking up the wrong tree."
I looked at him, and he smiled guiltily.
"I know...this isn't the time, but I'm not ready to stop worrying about my attachments just yet. I..." He leaned closer. "I'm not...well, I didn't think I was ready for a family, but I have one. And I don't want to give up on my 'attachment' to you just yet. But if...you don't want me to, then..."
I smiled at him, feeling my cheeks flush. "Well..."
My old feelings were flickering back to life. I'd stamped them down until they'd died down so I could focus on Tempest. Tempest. Tempest, she needed me to focus. I couldn't be...
J's arm slipped around me, and I leant closer.
"Astrid, I'm not...going to be a fly by father anymore. I mean, I understand that I might not exactly be the best father in the world, but I was wondering if we could just start with a clean slate. I want to...Well, I want to be with you."
He kissed me, softly, and then we heard Tempest stirring, and I edged away from him. He smiled at me, and we sat and softly talked of things until Tempest wandered through, by which time I had dressed again, feeling as shy as a debutante.
We have agreed that we are...dating, after a fashion, and he will move in soon, at which point, he says, we can be a proper family. He wants to get along with Tempest, and he absolutely wants to be together with me, strings attached and all. He's apparently been thinking about me, every time he's away.
"But you were so mad at me, I didn't know how to go about saying it. And you had every reason to be, angel."
He's still calling me angel, but now, he's cuddling Tempest when he does. And that's the difference. It's not just about her, and not just about me. It's about the both of us.
